I am an avid youtube-er.

I watch many videos, of different genres from different countries.

One day i was watching an episode of a reality TV show, and there was this guy screaming and confronting another man. He was crazy, he was. I rather thought it was entertaining, with his eyeballs bugging out and everything.

Oh before I continue the story, Id like to highlight that Im also an avid reader of youtube comments, its the comments that make the video so much more interesting; people from all over the world watching the same video and giving their thoughts. Mind opening, says I.

So as the crazy guy was screaming his head off, I scrolled down to read the comments below, anxious to see what other people think about him.

Almost everybody was lamenting on how he's an idiot and things like that bla bla...

But one comment caught my eye.

This user was saying that that screaming guys sounds like a MUSLIM. His idiocity and his inability to keep his calm reminded the user of a MUSLIM.

I was shocked. So I asked the user what he meant. and HE replied saying that that is how young MUSLIMS in Europe behave.

I was, and still am appalled.

From my youtube wanderings, I have, truth be told, come across many MANY comments of videos that involve racism and anti religions. Sometimes the video may be as innocent as a singer belting her melodious tunes out, but you can actually find discussions of race, religion, and life, going on below.

It's AMAZING how people use free comment spaces to conduct heated arguments regarding skin colour and faith.

My incident with this reality TV show comment brought me back to other ANTI-MUSLIM comments that Ive come across while youtube-ing.

It makes me realise that there are many, many people out there who really hate Muslims. They have totally screwed up views and opinions about Islam and they're using free space on the internet to spread their beliefs.

It makes me realise how safe I am to be here, in Singapore, where as much as there are people who cannot really accept each other, there is the basic level of tolerance. I wonder what will happen if a bunch of Muslims were to spread a plastic sheet in Central Park and start praying. It'll probably hit the headlines. But here, people ignore us. Which is fine by me.

This kind of comments give me the slap-awake-in-the-face that I need. It makes me aware what I've been taking for granted, and what a small little safe bubble I've been living in.

There are others, my brothers and sisters who are looked upon as scum of the earth, all due to a small misunderstanding.

My brothers and sisters,

There are people who really hate us out there. They think we're bad people, very bad people who like to go around scolding, cursing and murdering other people.

Why do they think like this we may ask. Why?

If we can only unite, my brothers and sisters, and show them that Islam is not violence, not rudeness, not restrictive, but peace, kindness, love, and freedom.

If only we can show them that.

How? you may ask. How?

My dears, by being the perfect example that we have been born to be.

Muslims are the best people who intruct in the path of goodness and stop the bad from taking place.

Be the Good. Be the Faith. Be the Islam.

And the rest will see.

Allahu ma'akum.

Rabbana aatina fiDdunya Hasanah wa filAakhirati Hasanah wa qina a'zabanNar.

Ya Allah,

Protect my brothers and sisters from harm and self-destruction. Unite us as Muslims O God, and give us the strength to overcome the accusations that have been thrown at our faces.

Help those people see, O God, the truth which they do not know, for they really do not know. Bless them O God, bring the truth to their hearts. Let the truth open their eyes, and shower upon them your Love and Compassion.

Ameen.

 

Praise be to Allah.

It has been a while since I penned down my thoughts.

One could say that in the time that has flown by ever so fast, I finally understand the greatness of Allah's love.

In the Quraan somewhere we can find mention of people who upon their deathbed, realise their mistakes and beg God to postpone their moment of departure. Allah denies them, enforcing that even if He is to postpone their deaths, they would turn around and behave EXACTLY as the way they did before.

Kind of illogical dont you think? If people have faced that moment of intense fear and regret, seeing their lives flash before their eyes and all that drama, wouldnt you think that they would really and truly repent and NOT repeat whatever it is that they have doent o cause such regret?

Like for example reckless drivers, or suicidal people who go on drinking binges.

I always like to believe that people who commit suicide, at that moment when they realise that they are going to die, (like people who are midair off the 25th story of a building, or ppl who have already swallowed 10thousand sleeping pills) they feel a sense of awakening and that they in fact DON'T want to die.

It makes sense right? As long as you're alive, you can still do something to fix whatever nonsense that you have gotten yourself into.

Why would people want to take away the blessings in life that they have? like the smile on their loved ones' faces, that relief you feel when you're on the toilet bowl, doing your business (incidentally, think of the happiness you feel afterwards. priceless. imagine not being able to go to the toilet for 3 months. hmmmm)

Anyways, I've always thought that regret and repentance is easy to come by. But in fact, it's not. And this is straight from the horse's mouth.

There have been many countless moments where I find myseld in a situation so trapped and hopeless and can only raise my face to God, begging Him to help me. At that moment, I feel so....helpless. I feel so tiny, humble, humiliated. Powerless.

But when that moment passes, there I go again, back to my merry old ways. The worst thing is, I find myself conscious of whatever rubbish I'm always up to. I know. I just can't figure out why I'm so...arrogant? most of the time.

What can we do? Honestly. I was having a conversation with my sister the other night, right after a squabble that lead to mournful sobs and tears, that no one can change another person unless the other person is open to changes. No one has the power of influence. True, you can play with psychology and all that, but really, see like, a hardcore Sadist. He does'nt think what he is doing is wrong, in fact, he is absolutely convinced that he is right! And whatever you say, he will never change his mind. But he was not always that way. Once upon a time, he was a little boy in diapers who needed care and attention from others. So what, or who, exactly, can change his mind? His mother, perhaps? Hmm....

So, what Im trying to say here is that Faith,or rather, what you believe in, is very important. From Faith comes your ideals and principles.

But Faith alone will not enough. The belief that stems from you Faith has to be equal to your belief in your Faith.

I suppose then one could really do what he wants with a clear mind and heart, and when he gets in a mess, he gets up, and move on, albeit shaken.

With Faith, comes true repentance and submission. (Hmmm...)

Then we'll all be happy. Coz we don't have to blame each other so much, we don't need to feel so lost and confused thereby leading to anger and distrust.

Such an easy life.

Yea?

So, Faith, Get Yours Right :D

(Anyways, my mum told me that one night she watched a tv documentary that said that the old pharoahs? they were known for their gruesome [ I can't spell ] temper coz they din shit enough! They din eat enough fruits! They only use their toilets once every 3 months! OMG! On one hand, poor them, but hey, the toilet cleaners are in luck huh? *winks*)

note: Am not sure of how true the above is, can only make a guess.

Wallahua'lam

I'm beginning to suspect that something is seriously wrong with me. I need an attitude adjustment. I better start with myself before I mess up more of other people's lives. resolution 1: stick to your resolutions. hmph. no wonder you have problems.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes it gets extremely difficult to help people?

You're faced with critisisms, accusations, unbelievably hard-headed people and a lot of emotional bullying.

and this comes from the people who you're trying to help.

granted, in every project there will be ups and downs,

but i can't help but think that sometimes even those who trust most can betray you.

all for the sake of a project.

sometimes even your best is not good enough.

when defending yourself sounds like a multitude of excuses.

all for the sake of a project.

when people form their opinions of you when they do not even know you.

your thoughts, your sweat, your worries, your fears,

your heart.

when people think the only reason you're in this project is to gain credit.

and that you would stoop so low as to claim credit.

all for the sake or a project.

may those people know that if it is THIS difficult to help them, please erase my being from existence in the project documents.

there is no need for my name to appear.

there is no need to give me credit.

there is absolutely no need to figure out where to place me and why.

In the name of Allah, i will try to be what He wants of me.

go, credit. go away from me, i don't want you.

i just want

to help my friend.

please do not acknowledge me.

i don't want it.

heh.

kan best mcm gini, duduk kat uma...

bangon pagi (tghari la ekcelli), masak, kemas2, cuci2, sidai2

lepas tu dok lepak busuk2 kat sofa pangku laptop.

pk la pulak.. 'boring nye.. la kan, tapi bes'

knape bes? sebab tak payah buat pape!!!

Kalau nak diikutkan rasa hati, macam gitu ajelah gayenye tiap2 hari.

Tapi!!!

Ha..... kat Islam cakap (bile pulak islam bly becakap)

org islam tak boley rase boring. rase boring tu bukan utk kite. kite kene lah pandai2 sibukkan diri kite.

same ade dengan berdiri depan cermin analyse gigi ke,

kire brape banyak bulu ketiak kite ade ke,

tengok power ranger (go go power ranger!!! tenenenenet!!!) ke,

apape saje lah selagi kite tak rase boring.

kalau tnk boring lagi,

pegila kat tingkap tuh.

pegi tgk kat lua tu ha. banyak kan orang. kat flat depan uma tu..

tgk amoi tgh basuh pinggan ke,

asl jgn tgk org berasmara-dana sudala

banyak org sebenanye yg tinggal kat dunie ni.

kite kalau tgk lua, kte nmpk org, kte cube bayangkan, ape la gaknye mamat tu tgk pk skrg.

lepas tu kte kali kan dgn brape org yg kte nmpk.

banyak pkran2 yg sedang berlaku kat dunie ni.

cube la kalau kite boley bace pkran sume org.

HA.

tak ke bising kpale kte nnti?

kene la migraine.

pastu mule hantuk2 kpale kat dinding, mcm org gile.

dari itu,

bersyukurlah kite dgn nikmat yg Allah bagi, iaitu kte TAK dapat bace pkran org lain.

inila pos minah yg da lame tak, ape org puteh ckp tu? surface?

ha.. timbol.

'u' ganti 'o'.

'a' ganti 'e'

segale2 mcm perkataan kalau bley dipendekkan akan dipendekkan.

terserlahla kemlsn org mlayu (tak sume yg mls, tapi TETAP ade yg mls)

mane la ade org bace blog ni kan,

tapi pos ni NAK JUGAK NAK JUGAK (mina da buat tebiat) aku hadiahkan kat kwn mina aku yg sgt2 la aku rindu utk bebual mcm gini.

kau tau kau sape kan.

aku tau la kau bukan bace pon

tapi ape tu mat saleh ckp 'it's e thot tt counts'?

ha mcm gitu2 la

smemangnye aku syg kat kau

Allah selamatkan AKU (muahahaha mina mina... kenangan......)

dan kau jugak la.

Amin.

 

 

why do people get fat?

why is there the disturbing accumulation of fats in our bodies?

why is there such a thing as diet and exercise?

why is there such a thing as beauty?

stereotypes

prototypes

grotesque

URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im getting very impatient

mistakes

we continue to make mistakes

there is no stopping us from making mistakes

we appologise and then we make them again

what will deter us from making mistakes?

the same ones

over and over and over again

again and again

again

where does it end?

fear

when does it come?

it causes a brief overwhelming regret and hope for forgiveness

then the moment is gone

and all is lost

back to mistakes

over and over and over again

again and again

again

'i have no choice'

'im tired'

'im busy'

sometimes i think that the reason we turn away from invitations to self-actualisation is ourselves.

i am my own worst enemy.

i AM my own worst enemy.

so get off that chair and do something for yourself.

God wont change those who dont change themselves.

 

sometimes i feel like taking a step back from life and just watch it pass by me.

like those kind of fast-forwarded videos with this one guy standing solitary in the midst of it all.

like take a break.

take a break from life.

if only i can. i think to myself.

sometimes i look around me.

i look around and see a bubble.

the people i love

the people i want to love

the people i want to love me

and i realise that we just cannot control anything.

we can work for things like exams, assignments, making people happy, driving them crazy...

but ultimate i realised, something i learnt the hard way;

we cannot control what is in other people's hearts.

we can feel all we feel

weep our eyeballs out

but if Allah does not let it be, it will not, and will never be.

that's why soemtimes i ask myself why

why do i feel so alone?

why do u i feel so scared?

and i realise that it's truly because i have yet to move on

i let the past haunt me

i let it stop me from stepping forward again.

i remember the time when i fell (together with that scary go-kart car) into this wide open ditch. it scared me off driving.

then i remember the not-once times i had cooking and baking accidents. but i just did not give up. i tried again. again. again.

so what is the difference? i ask myself.

passion? hmmmmm.... maybe (shrugs)

maybe you can tell me the answer if you know

so to get back to the story, i realise that the act letting go, letting go to Allah,

to trust in Him, to put absolute faith in Him, matters.

Ukhuwwah fillah.

in recent (or not) discussions about this issue, i realise that i have not been an advocate of ukhuwwah fillah.

sahabah fillah.

mahabbah fillah.

and i realise what it means.

loving someone, while trusting in Allah that whatever happens, it comes from Him.

in that, if we get cheated, or let me say, tested, we wont be irrepairably devastated.

i had to learn this the hard way too.

and im still trying to overcome my pride, my sense of self, to do what Allah wants me to.

Love in His sake.

friends, family.

and im still trying to get over this little twinge, this little twinge, this little twinge.

i pray to Allah that if it is meant to be, then make the path easier for me.

but if it's not, please Ya Allah, remove the twinge.

i cannot bear the ache.

Allah help me.

Allah help me to be true to myself.

to be true to others.

to be true to You.

clear.

anti-dandruff.

guaranteed to not return.

how i wish there is a shampoo for mistakes.

one that prevents mistakes from ever returning.

so we never make mistakes again.

everything will be perfect.

at least, for the future.

but the past, oy, the past.

so many mistakes.

so many made with no regard to what was right.

so many....

but there's the good side of it.

you make mistakes, and you realise that you're wrong.

and you realise what wrong means

and what right means

what right costs

what right is worth

the question is, though

do we think right is worth going through suffering of self-change for?

clear my mistakes.

God will not change us we if don't change ourselves.